I can absolutely remember the first time I looked at a girl and liked her. Like, LIKE liked her. This was quite a revelation to me because, just moments before, the sum total of my feelings for her were the desire to bury her in the sand pit and surround her with sweets to see if ants would eat her and, if they did – how long until there was just a skeleton left? Then I’d own a skeleton! Epic!
From small beginnings scribbling declarations of love, to illustrating for a wedding and starting my own narwhal steak eatery – from the very first of my visitors to today – there have been a multitude of crazy stories, some of them were even made up.
Scientists that do mind-bonkingly difficult things with numbers on dusty blackboards go ON AND ON about distances. Interstellar distances , they burble through be-tangled mustachios, are SO vast that light itself packs a pretty hefty cut lunch before it sets off. Then for the nonce, the BASTARD scientists pop an LED-encrusted helmet and a webcam on a little droid and shoot it DIRECTLY INTO the vastly dark, silent freezing nothingness on a one way journey to the place where time began. And if you read the right type of journal, they tell you how its feeling about the diode-crushing isolation for months and months before it stops talking to us at all. Not because it dies, but because there is NO COMING BACK. It just goes on & on & on FOR EVER…
Happy Halloween twenty thirteen! I’ve had somewhat of a difficult day, what with my girlfriend eating my brains and all. I had just made a toasted Camembert sandwich and was about to feed the pumpkin beast when hey ho, she lops my head in half and downs my cerebellum with a spork. Typical!
This is a brief introduction to Belladonna Bubble, Miss halloween Twenty Thirteen. I would like to tell you that Belladonna Bubble is a good girl, or at least that she has a good heart even though she is quite often less than good. Neither of those things is even remotely true.
Later in the day, every kid in the street would be gathered together in one arbitrary yard, with every length of available hose like hatch-work over driveways; all these kids running about excitedly on the precipice of a gargantuan take-no-prisoners water fight.
Why was I in Iceland, I hear you implore me to hurry up and explain? Well, my reasons were deux. Firstly, to visit the lovely people of Eyjafjallajökull for no other reason than to establish, once and for all, how one is supposed to pronounce Eyjafjallajökull. (…read on)
Earlier this year Heather Fay asked me if I would be interested in doing some artwork for her new record, now titled Cherish the Broken. I had worked with Heather before when she released her cover of Thriller but this was a much bigger project, and it was exciting!
I was recently invited to spend some time in Google+ HQ to sketch some of the rarer wildlife that can be found occupying the darker corners of server rooms. I suppose you’d imagine the Google+ team would lay rodent traps about the place to deter such riff-raff; but you’d be wrong. And most certainly not the amazingly capable critters you’d find in those parts. I sketched this one especially for birthday boy Dave “Bez” Besbris, who knows a thing or two about CyRREL Sciuridae [Cyber Robotic-Rodentia Enhanced Life-form].
I was recently contacted by Kate & Nigel, a New Zealand couple who, while planning their nuptials, had happened upon my name …
Autumn is my favourite time of the year. The mind-shattering heat of Australian summers begin to cool at last, the plants begin their preparation for hibernation, and the animals start to get fluffier and cuddlier. Oh, and I get to break out the cumfy clothes and the Big Winter Slippers.
…He spent the next four years in an orphanage and was put to work making sandwiches for all the other children. Mostly he enjoyed inventing sandwiches, but things don’t grow so well in good old Dudinka, because it’s just mind-shatteringlycold. So sandwiches were generally made out of seafood (with a heavy tendency towards narwhal steaks) which suited him just fine.
This piece, “Safe Haven”, is just for me – something fun that has been floating about in my head. Or rather: merciless haunting me from the murky depths. Or rather: waiting for me to dip a toe in the water, so that it can devour me whole and digest me like a sarlacc.
“She is Joy & Love I am safe here for always In my mother’s hand.” Mother’s Day 2013 – I’m spending the …
Dirk Reul is a debonair man of culture, class and style. His knowledge and skill with all things culinary is astounding, as is his …
The world is a new place; boundaries and distances are nothing to love and friendships. Every day, we meet and laugh with people ten thousand miles away over coffee, and think nothing of it.
… if your existence began on Skaro, you’d have every reason to be feeling pretty hard done by at this time of year. It would be understandable if you were left feeling somewhat disheartened and perhaps even murderous.
At valentines, it is good to know love when you have it; that you are lucky enough to have found someone wonderful, someone you cherish and value immeasurably because of your experiences…
…If you want love, you have to get out there and show the world who you are.
…but he tried to steal cheese from Nathaniel the Mouse, who tore out his guts and built a lovely cat-house.